don’t f with mama bear

Don't mess with mama bear.

Of all of the ferocious animals in the wild kingdom, there is none more fearsome than a mother protecting her young. A hungry hyena knows better than to go after a little lion cub when it knows her mother is nearby. A mother will fight to the death to protect and defend her little ones, and that’s often why female animals are better fighters than their male counterparts, even though they are physically smaller in size.

Apparently, this applies to humans, and to me specifically as well.

This past Saturday, Murray and I went for our weekly shopping trip at Superstore. Although it’s way more busy than the Save On Foods that we used to go to, the carts they have there are two levels and accommodate a baby car seat. The ones at Save On are just the regular kind, and it’s hard to fit any groceries in there unless we start putting them on top of Maddy! So, we’ve switched supermarkets. First on the list was some Breathe Right strips. (Murray snores. It’s horrible.) Murray was pushing the cart with Maddy in it, and I was following a step behind as we went down one of the pharmacy aisles. Absentmindedly, Murray must have left the cart at the end of the aisle when we found what we were looking for. As Murray grabbed a box of Breathe Right strips, I heard that metal-like clang that the carts make when you put your cart away. I looked over my shoulder and noticed that the sound was caused by some guy who had rammed his cart into our cart with Maddy in it!

I looked at him in disbelief and said “Excuse me!”  He didn’t apologize. Murray then took note of what had happened and he asked the guy, “Was that on purpose?” To my shock he said yes! What kind of person would do that sort of thing??? Murray said, “That’s just ignorant! There’s a baby in that cart, you idiot.” His reply was that it was ignorant of us to have left the cart blocking the end of the aisle.

OK, while I agree that it was inconsiderate to leave our cart there, it wasn’t done on purpose. Most normal human beings would simply move the cart out of the way. Maybe if they were in a bad mood, they would rudely point out to us that it was blocking the aisle and tell us to move it. But who the hell rams a cart with a baby in it?? This is the perfect example of an ignoranus, a person who is both an idiot and and asshole.

We exchanged some choice words with him then continued on our way. Moments later, we were coming up an aisle that he was just starting to come down into. I was still furious and shaking. My mind was racing. He rammed my baby. MY BABY. What if he had woken her? Made her cry? Worst of all, what if by crashing into our cart with his, Madison’s carseat had gotten knocked out of the cart and fell onto the hard ground? The imagined sound of her painful cry rung silently in my head, and I lost it. Without making a conscious decision, as we approached him, I stepped past Murray and lunged towards the guy, pushing his cart and sending it flying out of the way so I had a clear path to him, grabbed him by the lapels of his black leather jacket and shoved him.

That’s right. I shoved him. Mama is a lioness.

I think I said something to the effect of “That’s my baby, you #@!&*^!!” I think he was too stunned that a little Filipino chick just came at him to react. Murray stepped in to make sure nothing else happened, and nothing did. We walked away, but my blood continued to boil as the adrenaline was rushing full force through my body.

Now, no one would ever describe me as a wallflower, but even Murray was surprised that I went at this guy. I don’t know what came over me. I guess it is that mothering instinct that is ingrained into our DNA. No one messes with our kids, man. I’ll end this post with a quote from one of my favorite funny movies, Role Models.

“I am a very animalistic woman. And when it comes to my son, I am a lioness. A black sheba. I am a lioness, and that boy is my cub, and if you let anything bad happen to my cub, I will claw yo’ ass up until you shit sideways.”