letter to madison

Madison and her smash cake

Today is Madison’s first birthday! I wanted to give Madison a keepsake for her birthday, and I had the idea to ask some close family and friends to write her a letter for her birthday. I’ll put them all in her baby book so that she can look back and read them once she is older. Maybe one day when she becomes a mother herself, she can do the same for her baby.

I decided to share the letter that I wrote for her last night.

Tonight is August 24, 2011 – the night before your very first birthday. I can’t believe it has been a whole year since we welcomed you into our lives. This has been the most amazing year of my life, full of moments I never could have imagined before you came along. I learned a lot about myself and a lot about love.

I started loving you from the moment your Dad and I found out I was pregnant. I’ll never forget it. It was Christmas morning 2009, at about 5AM, and I couldn’t wait any longer to take the home pregnancy test. I remember holding your Dad’s hand as he opened the bathroom door, and we both leaned in to see the results: two pink lines. It was my very first glimpse of you, and already I was in love.

All through my pregnancy, I carried you lovingly, and I couldn’t wait for the day until I would get to meet you. On August 25, 2010, at 4:27PM, you came into this world and into my heart. I can’t begin to describe the feeling I had when I first got to hold you in my arms. You were sticky and wet, but having you on my chest, skin to skin, was the best feeling in the world. My first thought was, “I can’t believe you’re here!” That would be the first of many times you amazed me just by being you.

You’ve grown and changed so much in this first year, from being a tiny 6 lb 8 oz newborn, who relied on me for absolutely everything to where you are today: walking around all on your own, feeding yourself independently and making sure all of us know exactly what you like and don’t like… You’ve taken so many leaps forward in your development, from all of the typical baby milestones like learning to roll over and sit up, to showing us your unique sense of humor and personality.

You’ve inherited a lot from me. I can see my stubbornness in you, but I also see my determination. I can see that you love animals, like I do. I can tell that you like to have things done your way, in your time, and that’s like me, too. I hope to teach you many things as you grow up, but to be honest, sweetheart, you’ve been teaching me so much in return.

I feel like I’m experiencing life through your eyes sometimes. When you said “ooh!” the first time you saw a giraffe at the zoo, I thought of how incredible it must have felt to see something that you’ve never seen before. When you looked at me in amazement after you tried ice cream, I thought of how interesting it would have been to have something so cold for the first time. I’m so happy that I have been with you for all of your firsts.

I read somewhere that for the first few months of a baby’s life, the baby thinks that the mother is actually part of its being. I can see how that could be true… everything you did was with me right by your side. I carried you everywhere, I nursed you, changed you, comforted you, rocked you to sleep, cuddled you while you were awake, sang to you when you were upset and kissed you and hugged you endlessly. Now that you’re turning one, you’re able to play on your own and put yourself to sleep, and even walk away from me. You’re starting to realize that you’re separate from me and that you are your very own person.

Just know that as you grow older and more independent, I’ll always love you and be amazed by you. Munchkin, I love you more than I ever thought was possible. Happy birthday, Madison.

Advertisements

%d bloggers like this: